This does not come easy, necessarily. Also, motivation may not develop in time; rather, I have come to discover it is a sudden jolt that propels one forward. I have found myself juxtaposed between what I have been doing and what I know is beneficial to those who watch what I do.
For years I have had many who have witnessed my personal growth and development from the shadows. Peering through whatever crack and crevice I leave intentionally unattended to. In the beginning (only a few years ago, when I began blogging), I did this more for myself, not knowing that there would be those who would want to see, hear, learn about what it is that I am “up to”.
Occasionally, I there would be a random comment, or, during a phone call, mention about what I had discussed in my most recent entry. “Really?? You read what I am posting??” I was shocked to learn that I had a small following. That would be undone only by an even more shocking discovery that I had more than just those who spoke up.
It wasn’t until I had stopped; taken a reprieve; rested; relaxed; recuperated from my daily banter that it became quite evident just how many people were watching. I started to receive random messages from individuals I had not heard from in months, even years, asking me why I had stopped. They were wondering when I would continue. They were hoping that there was more to come…
Well, I think it is time I pick up the flag, strap on the banner, and get this puppy moving, once again. Although, this time, it would be greatly appreciated if I could get a bit more feedback from time to time. It isn’t necessary, but knowing that I have my cheering squad behind me keeps that motivation fueled; inspiration to make weekly, if not daily, postings.
So, with this being said, here we go again!
Let me quickly share with all of you what shook off the dust and cleaned the rust from my gears. It was the culmination of a few negligible events. In particular, what fanned the flames was a fellow blogger; she is from China. She works with me (sorta) at ASU. She is in my department, although still finishing up her Master’s degree. She helps out in my department and has just recently grabbed my attention in an unexpected way.
Zimei had walked right past me… WTH!??!? I was supposed to be making sure no students made it past me – it was grievances day for our students and the teachers who were speaking with anyone who had a complaint needed a buffer… a 300lb buffer ^,^ – and I had let her slip by. Quickly, in a fruitless attempt to redeem myself from the snaffu, I halted her progress and ask if I could help her with something.
She gave the most perplexed smile and said, “No, but thank you.” It was at that moment I could feel the burn. Not in the political sense; instead, I felt the piercing effect from the myriad of eyes now looking at me. I could hear them – yes, EYES, I could friggin’ HEAR them! – as they bellowed out, “What are you doing?”
You see… I was the ass in this situation. Not for letting one by, but for not knowing who my colleagues are. I would argue, though, that I work in a different building. I had never seen her before that moment! Of course, this would be lying to myself, as I have noticed her around my workplace. However, I had not put two and two together. I humbly apologized… she humbly accepted… We humbly chatted for a brief moment, afterwards ^,^
The funny thing was, this became noticeable glances the rest of the day. It seemed that, in lieu of my ignorance and naivety, that we noticed each other much more, now. I am good with this, as she has a really nice smile ^,^
I like smiles!
Yesterday was learnin’ day, though. I learn’t me some stuffs (yes, say that in your most backwoods tone possible). That [stuffs] illuminated when she came to sit next to where I was (wall outlets are a wonderful lure for intelligent individuals… or those with technology, to say the least). She needed electricity and I needed the means to wake up from the meeting I was attending (meetings, to be more accurate: 3, back to back).
A bit of discourse between us finally procured that inspiration, that motivation; that push I have been needing. You see, she is a blogger. Neat ^,^ She asked me if I did anything of the sort…